There is nothing wrong with being self-sufficient. It’s good to have a broad skillset whereby you are able to do most of the things yourself. However, it is nearly impossible to be entirely and completely reliant on yourself, all the time.
We all have moments when we do need help and support otherwise, and it doesn’t always have to be support in terms of actions alone but encouraging words can also to wonders.
However, not everyone is comfortable seeking help. This is perhaps because the society has aggrandized the concept of self-sufficiency to the point where seeking help is considered as a sign of weakness.
But being on guard all the time, with no one to turn to can be extremely unhelpful as well. It not only feels lonely, but it can also put too much stress on you. With some people, not asking for help is a symptom of mental and behavioral problems like attachment issues, that need to then be addressed with the aid of the Best Psychologist in Lahore .
Why is it so hard for us to ask for help?
Since a premium is being put on being the perfect person, whereby one person can do everything, hence, people consider asking for help a blow to their ego. They don’t realize perfection is a mirage, and you cannot chase it.
In some cases, the inability to ask for help can also be due to bad experiences, especially in childhood, when the person was let down by everyone. For them then, depending on others is not an option.
The aversion to seeking help can also be to avoid appearing as vulnerable to people. It’s harder still for those who are exploited for reaching out for help.
Normalizing asking for help
It’s not possible to live without ever needing another person. Rather than getting perturbed at the prospect of appearing weak, you need to make it okay for yourself to reach out to another person. Otherwise, you will exhaust yourself.
Somethings you can do to normalize seeking help include:
It helps in improving your relationships
Being self-sufficient is not bad, but there also should not be any qualms about asking for something from others.
Instead of only perceiving your relationship as merely being transaction-based, asking for help without stipulations allows your relationship to become more meaningful.
Furthermore, asking for help also allows people to become closer to you. It ensures that you are a part of a support system that helps not just you, but those related to you as well.
Work on figuring out your self-worth
When you are secure in your position, you will not become uncomfortable with seeking help. Some people think that expressing a need for help serves as a blow to their ego and self-worth.
Such perspective often accompanies situations when the person is already suffering from self-esteem issues and are not secure in their position. Hence, it is important that you work on improving your perception of self.
Try to image seeking help as a two-way street; if you ask others for help, you are also giving them the impression that you also will be there for them as well.
In cases where you refuse to ask your friends and family for anything, they might also then not reach out to you, even if they earnestly need your help.
Furthermore, you letting people help you is also an act of kindness, as you are allowing the relationship of mutual love foster better.
Figure out if you have attachment problem
Get to the bottom of why you are so hesitant about taking help from others. You need to work out your attachment patterns; do you project your insecurities and distrust on others, or is it based on real evidence.
This stage might require you to work with a mental health expert, like those at Hameed Latif Hospital.