The United States has among the world’s highest divorce rates, a whopping 35% to 50% for first marriages. That increases to 60% for second marriages and over 70% for third marriages.

However, a divorce isn’t the only option for couples having marriage issues. For instance, they may consider going through a separation process first. According to statistics, about 1 in 4 married U.S. couples do so and reconcile after.

Still, living apart from your spouse (and perhaps your kids) can be difficult. That’s why you should learn how to stay strong during marriage separation.

We’ve shared some tips and techniques to help you get through, so read on.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

You may feel sad, angry, confused, and distressed as you go through a marriage separation. This is even likelier if the decision to separate wasn’t yours. You may also experience feelings of low self-confidence, insecurities, and rejection.

Separation hurts since it means losing a loved one, connection, and intimacy with them. This loss can create a void in your life and give you painful emotions like grief.

Some people may ignore their grief, hoping to move forward quickly. However, this may do more harm than good, especially to your mental health. Experts say suppressing emotions can heighten them and make one feel even worse.

So while crying may seem counterintuitive, it may be better than holding back your tears. It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s an acknowledgment of your loss and the emotions that come with it.

Give Yourself a Break

In the earlier stages of your separation, you may feel guilt and depression aside from pain. You may think the loss is unbearable, and the loneliness may make you want to do nothing. These emotions are okay, so you should let yourself feel and process them.

You need to heal, so allow yourself time to be less productive than you used to be. Then, as the days go on, let yourself re-energize and become productive again.

Don’t Mope for Too Long

While it’s okay to cry and take a break, don’t mope or isolate yourself for too long. Doing this only makes it easier to focus on the negative things in your life. You can do this occasionally as a learning experience but don’t allow it to take over your life.

Instead, use the separation period to do things you enjoy doing alone. For example, you can go for daily walks, treat yourself to a day at the spa, or volunteer in your community. You can also make a list of positive things you’re grateful for.

Keep in Touch With Loved Ones

Staying strong during a separation can be easier with sympathetic family or friends. Sharing your feelings with people you trust and love can be quite relieving. Loving family members and good friends will do their best to serve as your outlet.

Join a Support Group

Support groups offer emotional comfort and guidance to people with similar problems. Clinicians and peers often lead and supervise these programs. Their primary goal is to foster a sense of belonging within the group.

Some support groups are specifically for people going through separation or divorce. They let members share stories and resources with others in a similar situation. Men’s Divorce, Women’s Divorce, and KidsFirst are examples of such groups.

Consider Counseling

Marriage therapy or separation counseling may help, depending on your circumstances.

According to Naya Clinics : Therapy & marriage counseling may include Positive Existential Therapy (PET). It combines psychotherapy with positive psychology. It must involve you and your spouse, though.

A relationship counselor will talk to you and your spouse during a PET session. With their professional guidance, each side can speak up about the relationship. You can talk about the root causes of your separation and discover ways to resolve conflicts.

Separation counseling allows you to go alone or with your spouse, even while you live apart. It’s an option if you and your partner are still unsure about divorcing.

Separation counselors can help by examining opportunities to de-escalate conflicts. They can also give professional advice on healing and repairing relationships. They can help you and your spouse reconcile and build a healthier partnership.

Try to Sleep Better

Separation and the prospect of divorcing are some of the most stressful experiences. Even worse, high-stress levels can cause poor quality sleep and sleep deprivation.

Sleep problems can worsen things, forcing you to mull over the separation. The more you think about negative stuff, the less likely you are to fall and stay asleep. This can then lead to a never-ending cycle of sleep deprivation.

From there, sleep deprivation can take even more toll on your mental health and make you cranky. Irritability is among the last things you want during an already emotional separation.

Poor sleep can also weaken your immune system and make you more likely to get sick. It may even cause you to recover longer from an illness.

All those consequences can make it challenging to stay strong during separation. Fortunately, there are ways to sleep better, starting with optimizing your sleep environment. This includes keeping it clean and minimizing external noise and blue light.

Avoiding alcoholic beverages and smoking can also help you sleep faster and better. Replace these habits with regular exercise instead. Exercising can help improve sleep patterns, reduce stress, and boost overall wellness.

If you’re still having issues sleeping, see your doctor for advice. They may recommend specific treatments or medications to help.

That’s How to Stay Strong During Marriage Separation

Now that you’ve learned how to stay strong during marriage separation, it’s time to apply it in real life.

So if you have yet to grieve or take a break, do it now, but don’t mope for too long. Also, try to sleep better and spend time with your closest friends and family. Lastly, consider joining a support group and undergoing therapy.

If you’re looking for more marriage-related tips, we got you covered. Check out our recent post discussing signs it’s time to find a marriage counselor!